I Had a Plan!

So many plans! But like everyone else’s plans, they are all crumbling out of existence one after the other. I have been working hard for months in anticipation of my two biggest events in May (both now cancelled). Because my work takes so long, I was sacrificing sleep, time with my husband, and household chores in the name of my long to-do list for those events (although it wasn’t hard to convince myself that I didn’t have time to do the dishes, let’s be honest). I had applied to and paid the entry fees for multiple art festivals this summer, all intentionally scheduled out to be evenly spaced throughout the summer. I had some big life changes I was going to make in order to have more time to devote to this. I have been waiting FOR YEARS and everything was finally lining up. But now, life is different. The initial shock of having events cancelled has worn off, and I’m getting pretty used to the seemingly never-ending e-mails to let me know that events are off. I’m expecting quite a few more before all this is over.

Guest gallery space that was set up March 1st, and now closed for the foreseeable future

I have a lot to be thankful for. I’m healthy. My family is healthy. I have a happy home where I have plenty of space to work and to be. Both my husband and I are still employed and have the privilege to be able to work from home. This will not devastate my art business and I will be able to pick up again once the world opens back up. We are fine. In the spectrum of hardships that so many people are unexpectedly facing, I know I’m lucky. I’m doing my part by staying home and trying to support local small businesses in the ways that I can.

I spent some days feeling my feelings. I’m trying to refocus and take advantage of this time that I desperately needed to make more so I can be stocked up and have as many options as possible for those who want to purchase my work when I can finally set up my tent again. I can finish my large flower piece! Make more necklaces and post them online! Make more minis! I can maybe even finish a large dot triptych that I have been working on for…years now? But it is hard to keep pushing with any real productive “umph” in the midst of all of the anxiety in the world and personal disappointment of lost (hopefully just postponed) dreams.

So I will fake it until I make it. It’s not like I can go anywhere anyways 🙂